In the earliest stages of the separation or divorce, when there are children involved, finding the motivation to engage in an effective co-parenting relationship with your ex-partner can be exceedingly difficult.  It may be impossible.  As time wears on and things begin to settle and two households establish a routine – it’s entirely possible.  If your situation is a high-conflict divorce and child custody battle, it may take a lot more effort.  After a divorce, co-parenting counseling may be a worthwhile endeavor.

The relationship as parents remains after a divorce.  Divorced spouses (or separated, never-married parents) have choices to make that shouldn’t be clouded by anger and rage.  That isn’t always the case, though.  Outside guidance can help calm shattered trust so that a successful co-parenting relationship can be built after divorce.  Co-parenting counseling may help parents separate the issues from the separation and divorce from the parenting process.

Co-parenting counselors allow the parents a forum whereby they may communicate about the best interest of their children.  This takes place on neutral territory, in a calm environment, and with a professional with the knowledge and experience working with conflicting couples after divorce.

What is your role in the successful co-parenting counseling forum?

Some tips:

  • Open your mind to working cooperatively to raise the best children possible after the divorce.  Fighting about the marriage is over.  Leave those issues at the door of the co-parenting counseling office (if not further away).
  • Focus on raising the children, not fighting your ex.
  • Treat your interactions with your ex-partner as a business arrangement of sorts.  Be polite, respectful, non-judgmental, and communicative.  Again, leave the battles of the divorce behind.
  • Focus on raising the children, not fighting your ex.
  • Remember that the children need the very best of both parents in order to grow into successful young men and young women en route to adulthood. Shared parenting works, folks!
  • Focus on raising the children, not fighting your ex.
  • Within reason, what is going on in your ex’s personal life is not your business.  Nor is what’s going on in your personal life their business. Of course, matters that may truly affect the children adversely would be an exception.
  • Focus on raising the children, not fighting your ex.
  • Plan custody exchanges at a public, neutral location to guard against someone “making a scene” in front of the children.
  • Focus on raising the children, not fighting your ex.

This list is, of course, not all-inclusive.  However, if you’re reading closely enough, you’ll notice a pattern in the list which gets right to the heart of what it takes to make co-parenting successful and build a foundation for a successful co-parenting relationship with your ex-partner after a separation and/or divorce.

Effective communication is the final key and many people are gravitating towards web-based life management software such as Our Family Wizard.  With wonderful features that works to reduce or eliminate custody schedule confusion, be brief but informative, and keep track of issues (be they good or bad).  Maintaining low-contact is critical when you’re dealing with a high-conflict ex-partner, so it behooves you to explore many avenues that allow for the most effective communication.

See also:  Top 10 Co-Parenting Tips: Low-Conflict Divorce & Child Custody