I am so thankful to have found your site and for your assistance. It is a great source of comfort to know that we are not alone in this fight.
When you are caught in the middle of this craziness it is very easy to let your emotions overwhelm you and reply to every accusation and idiotic comment that the ex spouse makes. You and your site have been a great help in teaching us the value of low-contact, how to go low contact and assisting us in knowing what to reply to and what not to reply to in addition to helping us draft emails without coming across as antagonistic. I wouldn’t say this has resulted in fewer emails from the ex-spouse, but it has given us a greater peace-of-mind when replying to those emails.
We are dealing with a moderate case of parental alienation and in addition to the books recommended by Mr. Custody Coach, the assistance and support received on this site has been instrumental in helping us to detect and prevent further alienation. It is because of a book recommended by you that I was able to contact a professional in the field of parental alienation who put me in touch with professionals in my area. Our judge has suggested counseling for dad and his daughter and I am very pleased that we were able to find someone who has experience and training with parental alienation. We couldn’t have done that without you.
Before finding this site, and several times since then, I have seriously considered leaving my spouse. The stress this situation has caused on our relationship has been tremendous. Knowing that we are not alone in this battle and that we can survive as a couple, as parents and as individuals has been a great source of comfort. The support we receive as parents, stepparents, spouses and individuals suffering through this train wreck of a custody battle has been fabulous.
Your posts and advice are knowledgeable and tempered with a bit of humor. I always feel better when I can giggle at a lighthearted comment or even laugh at the eerie similarities we seem to face. That one little giggle can help to pull my despair back into perspective. Without humor, all would be lost.
From my whole family, thank you for all that you do.
Michael has been a godsend throughout our custody battle- I only wish I’d found him sooner. His advice on how we should conduct communication with my husband’s ex-wife has been invaluable. For years, my husband and I wasted our time and sanity trying to reason with a woman who simply refused to compromise. At its peak, the stress of dealing with my husband’s ex-wife had me waking up in the middle of the night, anxiously trying to resolve the situation over and over again in my head. Thanks to Michael, we realized that trying to explain ourselves over and over again was just playing right into the ex-wife’s desire for conflict. Over the last seven months, we have minimized conflict by using Michael’s “low-contact” methods, which has eased the stress on our marriage as well as our dealings with the ex-wife. Now I can sleep at night and my husband and I aren’t constantly at each other’s throats, stressed out from trying to reason with a woman who cannot be reasoned with!
We reached out to Coach Michael for our most recent court hearings. He quickly jumped on board to offer a helping hand. He offered us a structured plan of action. First and foremost, file our motions immediately as it would take time to get a court date. We reviewed how the parenting plan was disobeyed. Wrote that out clearly. What needed to be done to rectify the situation. Finally what we needed from the courts to be made whole again. We reviewed what we had written, made a few adjustments to remove all the emotions so that the motions filed represented the facts and the facts only. From there he guided us through:
How to gather the facts, organization, reviewing paperwork, presenting our case, how the other side would react, our court conduct, and Coach Michael even went through a mock court hearing with us to get us comfortable with asking the questions we had prepared for the hearing.
This was done over a period of several e-mail exchanges and several phone calls, taking it slowly so that we didn’t feel overwhelmed by the process. Coach Michael took the time to make sure that we felt we could stand on our feet.
*With Coach Michael’s help we felt empowered.*
Prior to speaking and receiving guidance from Coach Michael we felt that we had to take what his ex wife was dishing out. We felt that we had to come into compliance with his ex wife’s demands. Coach Michael was able to assist us with the understanding that the courts are open to both parents. If we were wronged by his ex wife, it was OK to seek the courts intervention.
DH went into court feeling that he could do this. DH felt confidence!! DH felt strong in his convictions. DH was able to stand up for himself in a way that he thought impossible. Thanks to Coach Michael, DH was able to enter into the court room feeling as though his voice would be heard and it was!!