In our post False Child Abuse Allegations & Their Impact on Child Custody we spoke of circumstances which result to the directly involved parties to a custodial situation.
However, it’s important to also understand that the impact reaches other relationships as well. There are extended family members who very likely will not see their grandchildren, who will not see their nieces or nephews, who will not see their favorite neighborhood children or best friends. More commonly, the person who is the victim of false allegations of child abuse or child sexual abuse during a child custody matter will have, not coincidentally, recently started a new relationship or perhaps has gotten married. It’s like a fast-spreading cancer on the entire relationship body. Not every relationship will survive the types of false allegations that often crop up during high conflict child custody battles.
The children are often the most significantly affected victim of the false accuser. They are most likely to lose the most significant number of positive, loving interpersonal relationships. The biggest being their relationship with their parent. The child will likely not get a reasonable explanation. They won’t have the level of closure that often comes with say, a parent’s death. It’s not uncommon for the children to grow up never understanding what exactly happened or why they had to grow up without a parent who they loved. They cannot expect to get comfort from the falsely accusing parent as their motivations are rooted in hate and “winning child custody at all costs.” It’s rarely possible to even fake sympathy under such circumstances.
Making matters go from worse to horrendous, the affected children are left in possession of the falsely accusing parent where brainwashing continues unabated. Often they will learn to believe what the falsely accusing parent tells them and begin to parrot that version of events. In an effort to shield themselves from rage or retribution, they may do or say anything in an effort to “keep their peace.” They’ll learn to hate the targeted parent and the depth of that rift will grow deeper the longer they are separated from the targeted parent. They won’t understand what has happened or what was perpetrated upon them, either. They’re unknowing passengers along for the ride.
Depending upon the depth and depravity of the false allegations, for instance false allegations of sexual abuse – a child will usually be subjected to intense questioning by a variety of authorities, often on more than one occasion. They’ll likely be subjected to several uncomfortable and invasive physical examinations. All of this continuing for as long as it takes for an investigation (or multiple investigations) to run their course.
Other relationships affected:
- Job/Employment relationships. Too often, the falsely accused target is fired from their employment long before an investigation is able to exonerate them. Sometimes, even after exoneration, their job is lost for good.
- Business relationships die. Relationships with employees, clients, suppliers, etc. will often end quickly as people rush to protect their own reputations while an investigation is ongoing. Those relationships don’t often come back.
- Community relationships, such as involvement with neighbors and friends, community groups, volunteer initiatives are summarily ended as people distance themselves from an alleged child abuser.
False allegations of child abuse cuts a path of devastation that is far reaching. Rarely does it not extend beyond the immediate household or factions engages in a war over child custody. It’s also no wonder why it’s so frequently used, effectively so, to wipe a target out of the child custody picture swiftly, severely, and with such intensely devastating impact.