Comments for Mr Custody Coach http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog Better Prepared. Better Outcome. Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:54:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Comment on OH: Equal Custody Legislation HB253 & SB144 by Robert F. Pina http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/ohio-equal-custody-legislation-hb253-sb144/comment-page-1#comment-4678 Robert F. Pina Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:54:24 +0000 http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/?p=2116#comment-4678 Hi Matthew & Friends @ mrcustodycoach.com, I do not want you good people to be mislead, but the person above was not the Author as he claims of the Ohio SB 144 & HB 253 it was a small group that completed the draft that was submitted to the Ohio Senate & House LSC for its completion. Ray has a major ego problem and since the summer of 2011 was removed from the executive staff of the National Organization for Parental Equality (NOPE) www.nopeusa.org Ray was the webmaster for the organization and controlled the web presence for the NOPE organization before he was removed and now has since then gone rogue claiming that he is the organization and the author of Ohio's SB 144 & HB 253. The Co-Founders of the National Organization for Parental Equality are Chuck Evans & Michael Galluzzo. Both have been fighting the Equal Custody Parentage issues for 20+ years, and have cases that you can find in the Ohio judicial system personally & assisted in several Supreme Court cases Ray was the webmaster that learned much from them and ran with it claiming he is the AUTHOR and person that has created these bills. We are in Ohio making GROUND BREAKING parental legislative issues currently but do not be so quick to believe all that you are told without fact checking the information being given to you from just anyone. Ohio's Secretary of State website will also assist you with your search for the co-founders of the National Organization for Parental Equality (NOPE). The Bill sponsors in the House of Representative in Ohio HB 253 Rep Weddington & Rep Ron Young & Ohio Senate Bill SB 144 is Sen Skindell are public figures you can contact them directly to assist with your due diligence. My name is Robert F. Pina I am the Vice President & Legislative Coordinator for NOPE and can be contacted anytime via my personal cell 937.270.5437 or email robertfpina@gmail.com God Bless you all and please continue to fight the good fight. Robert Hi Matthew & Friends @ mrcustodycoach.com,
I do not want you good people to be mislead, but the person above was not the Author as he claims of the Ohio SB 144 & HB 253 it was a small group that completed the draft that was submitted to the Ohio Senate & House LSC for its completion. Ray has a major ego problem and since the summer of 2011 was removed from the executive staff of the National Organization for Parental Equality (NOPE) http://www.nopeusa.org Ray was the webmaster for the organization and controlled the web presence for the NOPE organization before he was removed and now has since then gone rogue claiming that he is the organization and the author of Ohio’s SB 144 & HB 253. The Co-Founders of the National Organization for Parental Equality are Chuck Evans & Michael Galluzzo. Both have been fighting the Equal Custody Parentage issues for 20+ years, and have cases that you can find in the Ohio judicial system personally & assisted in several Supreme Court cases Ray was the webmaster that learned much from them and ran with it claiming he is the AUTHOR and person that has created these bills. We are in Ohio making GROUND BREAKING parental legislative issues currently but do not be so quick to believe all that you are told without fact checking the information being given to you from just anyone. Ohio’s Secretary of State website will also assist you with your search for the co-founders of the National Organization for Parental Equality (NOPE). The Bill sponsors in the House of Representative in Ohio HB 253 Rep Weddington & Rep Ron Young & Ohio Senate Bill SB 144 is Sen Skindell are public figures you can contact them directly to assist with your due diligence.

My name is Robert F. Pina I am the Vice President & Legislative Coordinator for NOPE and can be contacted anytime via my personal cell 937.270.5437 or email robertfpina@gmail.com

God Bless you all and please continue to fight the good fight.
Robert

]]> Comment on Top 10 Commandments of Low-Contact With High-Conflict Personalities by iowagal http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/top-10-rules-of-low-contact/comment-page-1#comment-4665 iowagal Sun, 29 Jan 2012 07:54:11 +0000 http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/?p=176#comment-4665 Sad but true, this works...kind of. It keeps the angry/hostile ex out of your house and off your phone, and keeps a paper (or electron) trail of what the ex has agreed to -- very little wiggle room there, which is a good thing. Though a determinedly PA ex will still find excuses: I didn't see your email, I thought I'd replied, I forgot. I find that since I went to email, no in-person contact with my ex, he manages to create a hydra of other problems. No reply to questions that need a timely reply. Refusal to pay what's owed without repeated prompts. Refusal to discuss scheduling for activities or medical treatment without repeated prompts, and then I get only partial replies. Communication via the child, and when that's called out, telling the child "we're going to do X, but don't tell your mother until I do, because otherwise she'll think I'm using you as a messenger." Sure, I could take him to counseling and court once a week. And make myself crazy, and wind up looking it, too. i think the most regrettable part of parallel parenting is that it's just not as neutral a thing for the kids as the descriptions make out. Yes, it's definitely better than open hostility. But the kids wind up in the middle, having to navigate on their own, and ill-equipped to do so. The best you can do is to coach from the side. We got so lucky -- our kid's very thoughtful, diplomatic, stable, harmony-seeking, and practical, and she usually finds a way. She's also open with me and can articulate how she's feeling about what goes on at her dad's. But I can see parallel parenting being bad news for a kid who just can't navigate those parental waters on his own. Sad but true, this works…kind of. It keeps the angry/hostile ex out of your house and off your phone, and keeps a paper (or electron) trail of what the ex has agreed to — very little wiggle room there, which is a good thing. Though a determinedly PA ex will still find excuses: I didn’t see your email, I thought I’d replied, I forgot.

I find that since I went to email, no in-person contact with my ex, he manages to create a hydra of other problems. No reply to questions that need a timely reply. Refusal to pay what’s owed without repeated prompts. Refusal to discuss scheduling for activities or medical treatment without repeated prompts, and then I get only partial replies. Communication via the child, and when that’s called out, telling the child “we’re going to do X, but don’t tell your mother until I do, because otherwise she’ll think I’m using you as a messenger.”

Sure, I could take him to counseling and court once a week. And make myself crazy, and wind up looking it, too.

i think the most regrettable part of parallel parenting is that it’s just not as neutral a thing for the kids as the descriptions make out. Yes, it’s definitely better than open hostility. But the kids wind up in the middle, having to navigate on their own, and ill-equipped to do so. The best you can do is to coach from the side. We got so lucky — our kid’s very thoughtful, diplomatic, stable, harmony-seeking, and practical, and she usually finds a way. She’s also open with me and can articulate how she’s feeling about what goes on at her dad’s. But I can see parallel parenting being bad news for a kid who just can’t navigate those parental waters on his own.

]]> Comment on More False Allegations, Protecting Yourself by Ryan http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/false-allegations-protecting-yourself/comment-page-1#comment-4634 Ryan Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:35:47 +0000 http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/?p=946#comment-4634 I'm fighting a custody battle right now because my ex wife coached my 7 yr old son to make false sexual molestation claims against me to his school counselor. I had full custody of my two boys after the divorce, but 2 years later, she violated the court order to keep me updated with her contact info, and her one month summer visitation turned into two months. During that time, she filed court papers saying I had abandoned them into her care and was going for full custody. I was finally able to track her down, and stop that order by agreeing to joint custody. HUGE mistake on my part. Since then, her lack of responsibilty where the boys are concerned have become quite apparent. Missed Parent/teacher conferences, failure to meet the boys at their bus stop (boys are 7 and 5), 60 missing homework assignments in a 3 month period (this was after the allegations were made and I was forced out of their lives by the police and CPS), failure to continue taking the boys to therapy...Her excuse was that the therapist wasn't calling her to confirm the appointments and it wasn't her responsibility to remember the appointments. Fortunately, my family and friends know the truth and have helped me get a VERY good lawyer to not only fight the allegations, but work to get the boys away from their mentally unhealthy mother. I'm worried to death about what kind of psychological and emotional damage she has done to my children since this all started (back in March 2011). The cost has been high, just having a 9 hour psycho/sexual evaluation (by a CPS sanctioned psychologist) which showed I'm not capable of molesting children, ended up costing $4500. But it was well worth it. I have a custody evaluation coming up and hopefully, the evaluator will determine the extent of mental illness their mom has and recommend sole physical and legal custody to me, so they will be safe once again. I’m fighting a custody battle right now because my ex wife coached my 7 yr old son to make false sexual molestation claims against me to his school counselor. I had full custody of my two boys after the divorce, but 2 years later, she violated the court order to keep me updated with her contact info, and her one month summer visitation turned into two months. During that time, she filed court papers saying I had abandoned them into her care and was going for full custody. I was finally able to track her down, and stop that order by agreeing to joint custody. HUGE mistake on my part. Since then, her lack of responsibilty where the boys are concerned have become quite apparent. Missed Parent/teacher conferences, failure to meet the boys at their bus stop (boys are 7 and 5), 60 missing homework assignments in a 3 month period (this was after the allegations were made and I was forced out of their lives by the police and CPS), failure to continue taking the boys to therapy…Her excuse was that the therapist wasn’t calling her to confirm the appointments and it wasn’t her responsibility to remember the appointments. Fortunately, my family and friends know the truth and have helped me get a VERY good lawyer to not only fight the allegations, but work to get the boys away from their mentally unhealthy mother. I’m worried to death about what kind of psychological and emotional damage she has done to my children since this all started (back in March 2011). The cost has been high, just having a 9 hour psycho/sexual evaluation (by a CPS sanctioned psychologist) which showed I’m not capable of molesting children, ended up costing $4500. But it was well worth it. I have a custody evaluation coming up and hopefully, the evaluator will determine the extent of mental illness their mom has and recommend sole physical and legal custody to me, so they will be safe once again.

]]> Comment on PA: New Pennsylvania Child Custody Laws in Effect by Greg http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/new-pennsylvania-child-custody-laws/comment-page-1#comment-4535 Greg Tue, 03 Jan 2012 18:57:32 +0000 http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/?p=1802#comment-4535 just had a general question...I have a court agreement where I'm the custodial parent...I have since moved to another county inside PA (same state) and was wondering if I need to go through this again or does the old agreement stick in the new county?? ANY help is appreciated!!! just had a general question…I have a court agreement where I’m the custodial parent…I have since moved to another county inside PA (same state) and was wondering if I need to go through this again or does the old agreement stick in the new county?? ANY help is appreciated!!!

]]> Comment on The Sad State of Marriage and Divorce by Dee http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/sad-state-of-marriage-divorce/comment-page-1#comment-4524 Dee Wed, 28 Dec 2011 05:06:05 +0000 http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/?p=2135#comment-4524 What an unfortunate one-sided piece among an otherwise very good site. It does unfortunately not take into account that the number one reason women work part-time is the need of children to be picked up and cared for at inconvenient times of the day. Given the fact that a man's success is thus in part dependent on the spouses's contribution it is logical that marital property (note not all property as the article suggests) be split equitably regardless of whose name is on it. This is also related to the prevalence of custody to mothers; when men behave as primary caregivers and forego career success they will have a much better shot at custody. Where I live generally shared custody is the starting point so it is simply not accurate that 70% of the time custody goes to the mother. Finally, it is true that men are more likely to be arrested for domestic violence and that women to engage in assaultive behavior, but it is also true that men are more likely to do actual damage when they assault. Additionally, plenty of women are arrested under mandatory arrest laws; often both parties will be arrested because the officers can't sort it out. Marriage and divorce are truly a sad state of affairs but try not to make it worse by pitting one side even more against the other. What an unfortunate one-sided piece among an otherwise very good site. It does unfortunately not take into account that the number one reason women work part-time is the need of children to be picked up and cared for at inconvenient times of the day. Given the fact that a man’s success is thus in part dependent on the spouses’s contribution it is logical that marital property (note not all property as the article suggests) be split equitably regardless of whose name is on it. This is also related to the prevalence of custody to mothers; when men behave as primary caregivers and forego career success they will have a much better shot at custody. Where I live generally shared custody is the starting point so it is simply not accurate that 70% of the time custody goes to the mother. Finally, it is true that men are more likely to be arrested for domestic violence and that women to engage in assaultive behavior, but it is also true that men are more likely to do actual damage when they assault. Additionally, plenty of women are arrested under mandatory arrest laws; often both parties will be arrested because the officers can’t sort it out. Marriage and divorce are truly a sad state of affairs but try not to make it worse by pitting one side even more against the other.

]]> Comment on Requirement for Non Custodial Parent to Pay College Expenses by Jennifer http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/require-non-custodial-parent-pay-college-tuition/comment-page-1#comment-4497 Jennifer Wed, 21 Dec 2011 05:13:40 +0000 http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/?p=844#comment-4497 I am a wife of a man who is being forced by the state of Illinois to pay for both of his girls college. We had no say so what so ever in where they go or anything, just here is the amount you are paying. When we asked if they could go to a community college for two years and then transfer...NO. We have fought many ugly battles over the years for just very basic things and it has became very clear very quickly that the mom will most always win...no questions asked..we don't even want to know that your husband walked in on you and your boyfriends...but let's make him pay for EVERYTHING. As a divorced person when we met I was shocked at the things that this court in this state has done. I guess I was lucky to divorce in a state that wasn't so far behind the times. We will be taken back to court again in the month of Jan for contempt charges because his daughter has failed AGAIN to go and sign all the papers that are required of her at her school so that we can make payments. We have called the school as instructed and asked about payments and the lady we spoke to told us and I quote "we don't give a rat's ass what some court in Illinois ruled on....she is the one who is 100% responsible for her account and making sure that all papers are signed" This has been told to her and we get the deer in the head light look and then she goes and I guess tells mommy who then just waits for the date to come and go and then they start to kick her out and then mommy takes a draw from her line of credit (granted we applied but due to the battle axe taking us back to court so many times over the years that my husband has lost a couple jobs over it and it has ruined us and we can't qualify to even get a loan for a loaf of bread) and comes in and saves the day and then calls her lawyer who then files papers on us for lack of payment. Can you tell we have played this game for awhile now? The way it stands now we have judgements that there is no way we can meet and it is costing us more in lawyers fees than we can ever pay off. Our two boys will be lucky if they get to go to a community college while their sisters get a full riide to a private college. We have the second girl graduating this May from high school and then we start all over. This is the one who partied her way through high school and had to do summer school but still SOMEHOW SOMEWAY got in to a.....you guessed it PRIVATE COLLEGE. Now she is not getting the grants and scholarships that the other one did for good grades but what does that matter when daddy is going to have to take care of it. She is even having a hard time finding the time to hunt and find these scholarships because that takes time away from friends and the boyfriend. Yes I am very bitter about it and I'm trying with all my might to not direct this at the girls because I know they are a product of their mother's doing....but to see a court enable this kind of entitlement is almost more than we can take at times. Oh and I forgot to mention that the college told us that student loans were offered to said oldest daughter and she refused because...and again I quote "why do I need to be bogged down with all these loans when daddy can pay for it" With all of my ranting, I would love any advice or any help that anyone might have concerning IL and the county of Macon. We have been told that we have a good case for the 14th amendment but when it comes down to brass tacks it will probably cost just as much or even more by the time we are done as it would to just shut up and take the beatings and just pay. Thank you from a wife who is really trying to do the right thing, but losing hope very quickly. I am a wife of a man who is being forced by the state of Illinois to pay for both of his girls college. We had no say so what so ever in where they go or anything, just here is the amount you are paying. When we asked if they could go to a community college for two years and then transfer…NO. We have fought many ugly battles over the years for just very basic things and it has became very clear very quickly that the mom will most always win…no questions asked..we don’t even want to know that your husband walked in on you and your boyfriends…but let’s make him pay for EVERYTHING. As a divorced person when we met I was shocked at the things that this court in this state has done. I guess I was lucky to divorce in a state that wasn’t so far behind the times. We will be taken back to court again in the month of Jan for contempt charges because his daughter has failed AGAIN to go and sign all the papers that are required of her at her school so that we can make payments. We have called the school as instructed and asked about payments and the lady we spoke to told us and I quote “we don’t give a rat’s ass what some court in Illinois ruled on….she is the one who is 100% responsible for her account and making sure that all papers are signed” This has been told to her and we get the deer in the head light look and then she goes and I guess tells mommy who then just waits for the date to come and go and then they start to kick her out and then mommy takes a draw from her line of credit (granted we applied but due to the battle axe taking us back to court so many times over the years that my husband has lost a couple jobs over it and it has ruined us and we can’t qualify to even get a loan for a loaf of bread) and comes in and saves the day and then calls her lawyer who then files papers on us for lack of payment. Can you tell we have played this game for awhile now? The way it stands now we have judgements that there is no way we can meet and it is costing us more in lawyers fees than we can ever pay off. Our two boys will be lucky if they get to go to a community college while their sisters get a full riide to a private college. We have the second girl graduating this May from high school and then we start all over. This is the one who partied her way through high school and had to do summer school but still SOMEHOW SOMEWAY got in to a…..you guessed it PRIVATE COLLEGE. Now she is not getting the grants and scholarships that the other one did for good grades but what does that matter when daddy is going to have to take care of it. She is even having a hard time finding the time to hunt and find these scholarships because that takes time away from friends and the boyfriend.

Yes I am very bitter about it and I’m trying with all my might to not direct this at the girls because I know they are a product of their mother’s doing….but to see a court enable this kind of entitlement is almost more than we can take at times. Oh and I forgot to mention that the college told us that student loans were offered to said oldest daughter and she refused because…and again I quote “why do I need to be bogged down with all these loans when daddy can pay for it”

With all of my ranting, I would love any advice or any help that anyone might have concerning IL and the county of Macon. We have been told that we have a good case for the 14th amendment but when it comes down to brass tacks it will probably cost just as much or even more by the time we are done as it would to just shut up and take the beatings and just pay. Thank you from a wife who is really trying to do the right thing, but losing hope very quickly.

]]> Comment on Information About Emergency Child Custody by Morgan http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/emergency-child-custody-circumstances/comment-page-1#comment-4495 Morgan Tue, 20 Dec 2011 22:20:36 +0000 http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/?p=689#comment-4495 I have a temporary custody agreement with my husband. There is nothing in the agreement stating anything about family emergencies. I need to go to my home state which is a different state than where I live, 2 states away. I know my husband will refuse, but if I stay here, I have no car, so I will not get my daughter on Christmas as planned, and I will also not get her if I leave her with her father (who has had her with his famiy EVERY year since she was born for EVERY holiday). I need to know if I can take her with me. I need to leave asap, and will be gone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but I don't really have a choice. What should I do? I have a temporary custody agreement with my husband. There is nothing in the agreement stating anything about family emergencies. I need to go to my home state which is a different state than where I live, 2 states away. I know my husband will refuse, but if I stay here, I have no car, so I will not get my daughter on Christmas as planned, and I will also not get her if I leave her with her father (who has had her with his famiy EVERY year since she was born for EVERY holiday). I need to know if I can take her with me. I need to leave asap, and will be gone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but I don’t really have a choice. What should I do?

]]> Comment on Requirement for Non Custodial Parent to Pay College Expenses by Lisa http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/require-non-custodial-parent-pay-college-tuition/comment-page-1#comment-4483 Lisa Sat, 17 Dec 2011 22:21:12 +0000 http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/?p=844#comment-4483 We live in Illinois, so I understand that the non custodial parent can be forced to assist with college expenses. The original order stated that termination occurred on the 18th birthday or high school graduation, whichever came last. The child turned 18 and graduated high school, the assumption is that there is no more liability for the non custodial parent. If the child does decide to go to college, can the non custodial parent pursue assistance with costs, even though there was no mention of college in the original order? Thank you for your time and assistance. We live in Illinois, so I understand that the non custodial parent can be forced to assist with college expenses. The original order stated that termination occurred on the 18th birthday or high school graduation, whichever came last. The child turned 18 and graduated high school, the assumption is that there is no more liability for the non custodial parent. If the child does decide to go to college, can the non custodial parent pursue assistance with costs, even though there was no mention of college in the original order?

Thank you for your time and assistance.

]]> Comment on AL: Alabama Shared Parenting Bill Moves Forward by Jeffery Smith http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/alabama-shared-parenting-bill-sb196/comment-page-1#comment-4462 Jeffery Smith Wed, 14 Dec 2011 02:59:33 +0000 http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/?p=2002#comment-4462 Hi. Thanks for pushing for custody justice for kids and families. Better laws are what we're working on here in Oregon. We're always looking for allies, in case you have any contacts here in Oregon who'd like to work with us. Thanks. Hi. Thanks for pushing for custody justice for kids and families. Better laws are what we’re working on here in Oregon. We’re always looking for allies, in case you have any contacts here in Oregon who’d like to work with us. Thanks.

]]> Comment on PA: New Pennsylvania Child Custody Laws in Effect by Rue http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/new-pennsylvania-child-custody-laws/comment-page-1#comment-4459 Rue Tue, 13 Dec 2011 19:40:14 +0000 http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/?p=1802#comment-4459 I agree with the law but the blanket DUI is a bit ridiculous. There should be some provision where if someone has a DUI over lets say 10 years ago they should not be penalized, if they did not have children at the time. I think if you have children and you get a DUI then yes this law is great. Who in their right mind, especially after you have children, thinks of drinking and getting behind a wheel of a car? There is a measure of responsibility that needs to be put in place. However, when a person's DUI is so old and never having any other conviction it is a bit ridiculous. Jen: Have your boyfriend look into expungement. Many times you can get it expunged if you went through ARD or if it's over 10 years old with no other conviction. Check with Legal Aid. They can help you. My husband has been trying to get his kids for 5 years and the legal system clearly favored the mother even though she admitted to drug and alcohol issues. The court decided that that was not a bad thing for the kids since she did not have a conviction. Then earlier this year we went in for a mod. and she claimed to be clean and clear yada yada...She just got a DUI. It's her first one but let's be honest she admitted to a drug and alcohol problem..So hopefully this will end our 5 year battle to get a safe and stable environment for these kids. I agree with the law but the blanket DUI is a bit ridiculous. There should be some provision where if someone has a DUI over lets say 10 years ago they should not be penalized, if they did not have children at the time. I think if you have children and you get a DUI then yes this law is great. Who in their right mind, especially after you have children, thinks of drinking and getting behind a wheel of a car? There is a measure of responsibility that needs to be put in place. However, when a person’s DUI is so old and never having any other conviction it is a bit ridiculous.
Jen: Have your boyfriend look into expungement. Many times you can get it expunged if you went through ARD or if it’s over 10 years old with no other conviction. Check with Legal Aid. They can help you.
My husband has been trying to get his kids for 5 years and the legal system clearly favored the mother even though she admitted to drug and alcohol issues. The court decided that that was not a bad thing for the kids since she did not have a conviction. Then earlier this year we went in for a mod. and she claimed to be clean and clear yada yada…She just got a DUI. It’s her first one but let’s be honest she admitted to a drug and alcohol problem..So hopefully this will end our 5 year battle to get a safe and stable environment for these kids.

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